another useless diary about the "War on Christmas"

(Cross-posted on infidelica.  I know this subject has been diaried to death, and in much better diaries than mine, like daveriegel's recent one. But this shit pisses me off.)

Did you know Christmas is under attack? Did you know that if you say "Merry Christmas" to someone while you're going about your day that you'll be tackled, hog-tied and bitchslapped by one of the ACLU's roving multi-culti enforcement goon squads? That if you install your halogen-lighted, neon-trimmed polyurethene creche on your front lawn, the Invisible Knights of the All-Inclusive Holday Season will ride upon you in their rainbow-colored hoods and cloaks, and burn a Festivus pole in your yard?

Because that's what pinheads like Loofah Boy and the Talibaptists and pharisees would have you believe.

In fact, FOX News "journalist" John Gibson has a new book out on the subject. Conveniently, just in time for the holiday - urp, excuse me - Christmas shopping season.

So just watch what you say, people. The evil liberal secularists are makin' a list, and checkin' it twice. For spelling and grammatical errors, of course.

Here's a thought: there is no "war" on Christmas, assholes. Nobody is stopping you from celebrating Christmas in whatever hypocritical, nonsensical way you wish to celebrate it.

You can even walk up to a man in full Hassidic dress, or a Muslim woman wearing a headscarf or even a full chador, and greet them with a hale and hearty "Merry Christmas!" if that's how you get your rocks off. It's your legal right, and no one is going to stop you. (Please note: I make no promises regarding how the Hassid or Muslim woman will react to your jovial, proto-Christian greeting.)

The "restrictions" on religious expression in this country, including observations of Christmas or other religious holidays, are rather minimal, and are based on that pesky little document some of us like to call the United States Constitution. Perhaps you've heard of it. Please, don't wipe your punk ass with it, no matter how tempting it may be.

In fact, all you've got, you who would like us to believe in your fictional "war" on Christmas, is the observation that many retailers seem to be using the more inclusive "Happy Holidays" expression in their advertising and merchandising, instead of the Christo-centric "Merry Christmas." That's it. That's your whole wad, and it's pretty well shot.

What you're saying is that you're offended that retailers, who want to sell as much useless crap as they can, are appealing to people of all faiths (or no faith at all) to come inside and spend, spend, spend. What you're saying is that you advocate restrictions on free enterprise. What you're saying is that shopping during the month of December is an activity to be reserved only for those of the Christian faith.

What you're saying is that Christmas, the day you choose to observe the birth of your lord and savior, is not a religious event, but a crass act of commerce.

Yeah. That sounds about right.

Actually, I think what you're saying is that you need to sell some useless shit of your own, whether it's books or commercial spots. And the war in Iraq isn't doing the trick for you anymore, so you need another war to cash in on.

Guess what? I ain't buyin'.