WICDI? ("What if Clinton did it?")

What if Bill Clinton went on a fundraising trip - after being briefed about an impending natural disaster of monumental proportions?

What if there were pictures of him eating birthday cake with Ted Kennedy, and pretending to play a custom-made guitar, while Americans were drowning and a city was suffering biblical destruction?

What if 1,300 New Orleaneans were dead, and entire neighborhoods destroyed, on his watch?

What if Geraldo Rivera and Sheppard Smith wailed and rended their garments on FOX and bemoaned the misery they were knee-deep in, while Bill Clinton wasn't even on his way back to the White House?

What if, while Bill Clinton was president, half of an American city's population up and left, refugees with no homes to return to, a diaspora unseen in modern America? What if the overwhelming majority of those refugees were Republicans - people who'd never voted for him, or raised money for him?

Suppose all this happened while Bill Clinton was president, and Clinton stood in Jackson Square and made pie-in-the-sky promises to make it all better, and six months later, little had been done? What if billions of dollars in "rebuilding" contracts, paid for with taxpayers' money, had been awarded to companies with ties to Democratic donors and operatives?

Or what if our armed forces were decimated, our economy wrecked, American citizens illegally spied on? What if Bill Clinton sat in a schoolroom, with an empty expression on his face, for almost ten minutes after being told that our nation was under attack?

What if the cost of gas went up to over $3 a gallon - while oil companies reported record profits?

What if Bill Clinton babbled incoherently and blinked like a lying bastard anytime someone asked him an unscripted question?

Would millions of Americans sit slackjawed before their teevees, unable to comprehend that their president is a crooked, incompetent disgrace to the office of president?

Or would it take a cum-stained blue dress to finally wake everyone up?

Forget "WWJD?" I just want to ask the disciples of the Cult of Bush, "WICDI?"